I’ve been thinking about this for some time now. Quite some time actually. There are more current events that I could be writing about; such as what’s been happening with the Church, or seeing Quantum of Solace (and loving it), or even this girl I sit next to in a class and have done so most days of the semester and until last week we have only so much as said “Bless you” after the other sneezes and “Thank you” when the other says the before mentioned “Bless you.”

But that’s not what I want to write about. Instead I want to tell you about a single moment and what happened after that moment. Almost one year ago (November 20 of 2007) a game released called Mass Effect. I had been looking forward to this game for a long time. So much so that I pre-ordered the special edition of it without owning the system necessary to play it. I wanted to have the game in preparation for the time that I would have the means to play it. As luck would have it, a few weeks after I got it I had a change of heart concerning the massive collection of games that I had sitting on a shelf at about the same time Game Stop ran a couple promotions that I wanted to take advantage of. To make a short story a little shorter, I traded in over one hundred video games and netted almost a thousand dollars in credit. Nice. With that credit I purchased the necessary means to play the anticipated game of which I now write.

Some of you now reading this have played and beat the game. Of those who have, I have talked about in some way this moment and hopefully this will rekindle the love you had for it if that love has dwindled in the past year. For those of you who haven’t played it, or don’t even play games at all, don’t worry. That’s not required and I’ll explain all you need to know.

Mass Effect takes place a few centuries from now in a future where humanity has begun moving out into the galaxy. We’ve met alien races and we exist together with them. Some of them we are good friends with and some of them we are at odds with (in humanity’s first encounter with one of these alien races we got into a fight and that memory hasn’t left a lot of people’s minds).

Throughout the game you are trying to track down this individual which has turned rogue against the galactic government. All this while you are slowly piecing together a much larger puzzle. You get a little piece here and there and start to understand what is happening, but it’s not very clear. Like looking through a muddy stained-glass window that you put together with duct tape. Also, you don’t have a light to put behind this mess of a window to actually see the colors. You just don’t really have a picture of what is really going on.

Towards the end of the game you do realize that this rogue agent is trying to bring about the end of all life. Not not sure how that’s going to happen, but anyone can tell you that ending all life is not a good thing. After busting your way out of confinement by your leaders you head after this agent onto an unexplored planet. On this planet you come across an ancient and alien device which explains everything. It takes those muddied window pieces, cleans them up, and puts them into the proper places for you.

This was it for me. As I realized what was being said and what was going to happen, the personification of the game character in my head muttered the words “Oh shit” while in the physical world I sat on my futon at two in the morning and said “Awesome.”

It just got real.

After ending the conversation with this device you continue the chase of the rogue agent. I don’t want to go into full detail for anyone that may yet enjoy the experience as it unfolds, but I will tell you how I felt. Everything in the game was building up to this moment when you recognized what was happening. There was only one thing that could stand in the way of utter annihilation. That one thing was you.

As the fight to stop the seemingly inevitable progressed I couldn’t put down my controller. I was completely lost in the fantasy being unfolded before me. I was not in that cramped little room any longer. I was in John Shepard’s armor suit as he ran along the outside of the Citadel in deep space shooting Geth at all turns.

I was John Shepard.

Intermittently through the fighting the game would cut away to depict what was happening elsewhere. A fleet of enemy ships had arrived and the allied fleet was losing the battle. I began to worry that they wouldn’t make it. I actually despaired at what was happening. It seemed that no matter how much I tried, this battle would not swing in my favor.

That all dissipated when a fleet of humanity’s warships arrived as reinforcements. A race that no one fully trusted and was looked down upon had shown up when needed. Despite the other races’ contempt for us it would be humanity that would turn the tide.

I don’t want to ruin everything so I’ll stop there. As the game end approached music began to accent what was happening. This music was a song that played through the entire credits to which I sat in silence listening to.

I’ve been asked by some people why I play games. It’s difficult to answer that. I enjoy the fiction and the challenge they present. I enjoy the themes which some games offer. I enjoy the time of recreation where I can sit and relax. These are all valid reasons to me to play video games. But they aren’t the reason.

As I sat on that futon in a dark room, listening to the music, it hit me. A feeling that comes only rarely after completing a game. The satisfaction of having gone through that trial of hope and despair and being a part of it all. It was a moment of retrospection.

That must sound odd to those of you that don’t play video games. But to those of you that do, it makes perfect sense. I don’t mean to say that all games do this. It is remarkably rare. I could count the number of times it has happened. That rarity only intensifies the moment though, it does not lessen it.

I have played a game that has no dialogue that made me cry. I’ve sat with my hand covering my open mouth in amazement at what I had just witnessed. I’ve thrown controllers into pillows as hard as I could in anger and frustration (I’m rational enough to know it won’t break on a pillow). I’ve jumped up from my seat in triumph and shouted exuberantly. I’ve struggled side-by-side battles with friends in battles that I felt could not possibly be won that together we proved not to be the case. I’ve played a game that overworked and heightened my senses so much that I jumped around and almost attacked the toaster when the toast popped up.

I play video games because of these moments when it becomes something more than a video game. It becomes real. It becomes emotion. And it drives the player to do more. Sadly many people don’t get these moments. They experience them and move on. They don’t take them for what they can be and only change discs when they have beat a game.

Another sad truth is that I haven’t been able to play these games of late. I’ve been busy with more important matters. But in the times that I have free where I can stop and think, my mind sometimes recalls these moments and I smile.

I play video games because some of them are more than video games. Sometimes they are experiences.